4th grade

I meant to write last week when Dylan started school, but the week went by so quick and became such a blur! I loved the carefree days of summer ~ I loved not having to follow a schedule! I went from those days, to getting up at 5:45am (which should be against the law, by the way!), getting myself showered and dressed, getting the kids up at 6:45am and then getting them on the bus by 7:40am!! It is insane!

My Dylan was not really looking forward to school this year. Last year, about 2 weeks before school started, he was ready to go back. This year, he didn't even talk about school and going back. I think a lot of that was because of the situation with Zachary and not knowing what was happening with him. His class list posted about a week before school started and when I asked him if he wanted to see whose class he was in, he wasn't interested (we did end up finding out through a friend and he was excited about his teacher!). He finally started getting excited at his open house! Now, for those of you have been to open house, it is pure craziness and I can't get OUT soon enough!!! Anyway, once he was in his classroom and seeing his friends and teachers, he was ready to start the 4th grade!! He never went to sleep until after 2 in the morning!!!

What is really scary is I remember when I was in 4th grade! I had Mrs. Lawson and that was the year that I forged a note to the teacher ~ yep, I wasn't always the good girl!!! I didn't do my homework, so I had a friend write a letter saying that I was at my grandmother's house and didn't have a "chance" to get it done. The funny thing was that when my friend signed my grandmother's name, she spelled it wrong! I brought it to her attention, she crossed it off and wrote the correct spelling right above it...in another color!! The best part about the whole thing was I was dumb enough to turn it in! I don't remember what my punishment was, but I do remember that my mom got called to the school about it! Isn't it funny what you will try and get away with? Well, now that I have kids, it isn't really funny because I will reap what I sowed!!

I love to see how Dylan is growing. Just to look at him he is getting so tall and grown up looking. He had to get glasses this year, so that makes him look that much older! I look at him and I don't see a little boy anymore and it makes me sad. I remember taking him to Kindergarten and how I cried when I dropped him off and he was only half day! First day of school, I have always taken him out to breakfast, dropped him off at school and then picked him up at the end of the day. This year when I dropped him off, I got a little teary eyed. I watched him get out of the van and walk into the school like a pro, but I wondered what was going on inside of him ~ was he nervous? Would he be embarrassed if I wrote him notes and put them in his lunch bag? Would he mind if I came and sat with him while he had lunch? When he got home we talked about some of those things and I am happy to say that I AM allowed to still write notes in his lunch AND I am allowed to come and eat with him!

I love how sweet and caring he is. I love that he was excited that his brother would be going to the same school as him. I love that he still comes up and wraps his little arms around me. I love that I gave him "kissing hands" and he put his hand up to his cheek today when he was having a hard time. I love that he will still reach up and put his hand in mine when we are walking . I love that he IS still a little boy, even though he is growing up quickly. I love that he is so much like me. I love that he is so much like his Daddy. I love him and am so proud of him!

cutting the cord

Today was Zachary's first day of Kindergarten and while he was excited and a little nervous, this mama's heart was breaking! The thing that I hate the most about this...is that I have many more moments like this in the years to come!

In the beginning of the summer I had posted that we weren't sure where Zachary would be attending school. We pretty much decided that if he didn't get into Montgomery, we were going to home school him because we didn't like our other options. The idea of keeping him home for school was rather appealing to me, but at the same time, I wanted what was best for him!! When we told him that he was going to be going to school with Dylan, his eyes filled up with tears and he was just beside himself! In that moment, the Lord made it very clear that this was His plan and I was thanking Him for working it all out! I hate waiting ~ when I have a plan, I want to get it into motion and this was totally out of my hands!! I don't know that I want to play this "game" again next year so we are asking that the Lord start working on it right now!!!

We got home from his open house last night and my heart was breaking. My Zachary was so excited to start school and spread his wings and I just wanted to curl up and cry ~ and that is just what I did!! I have been strong and been encouraging and made this new experience sound great, but I was falling apart!! My heart was aching for what was to come. He was up so early this morning and all ready to go to school by 7 ~ we ate breakfast, we took pictures and we had some down time for me to answer any questions that he might have...he was so brave! I gave him "kissing hands" (if you don't know what this is, it is in a book called The Kissing Hand), drew 2 little red hearts on his pointer fingers and we were off to school. When we pulled up, he decided that he didn't want to get out of the car, but Dylan so sweet and loving, helped him out of the car and I watched 2 pieces of my heart walk into that building and my heart hurt. I cried all the way home and then some! Peanut went with us in the car and I was to take care of him all day ~ what Zachary didn't know was that Peanut dried Mama's tears throughout the day!

I am excited for this new chapter in Zachary's life! I have been praying that the Lord will use his little life for good; that he will grow into a Godly, young man and honor our Father! I know that God has big plans for him and I am giving his life over...as much as it hurts my heart, I realize that he is only mine to borrow ~ Zachary belongs to Jesus! Those boys are my pride and joy and I am excited to see how they are both growing. Thank you, Jesus, for letting me have them for a time.

bittersweet

Today, the Counts said good bye to preschool. Preschool is a thing of the past ~ we are now on to bigger and better!

When we said our prayers last night, Zachary told me that he was nervous about his graduation! We prayed that he wouldn't be nervous and that he would enjoy his day! I made sure that we were in the gym bright and early so that this Mama could be in the front row taking everything in! I watched my Zachary walk in with his class, playing with his shirt because he was nervous! (He wasn't happy about wearing the purple cap, either!) My camera was acting up at this point, so I don't have any pictures of him walking in. The three classes sang their songs, yelled out and made the parents giggle in their seats! I sat there, as proud as could be, watching my little boy...do NONE of the above!! He stood there just looking at me with a blank stare on his face!! I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to when Dylan was in preschool ~ he was probably the loudest one! Those boys are so different but I love them for who they are and for who they are becoming!

My camera was giving me a hard time, so it wasn't until Zachary got his certificate, that I got any pictures of him. I spent much of the time playing around with the settings on my camera and taking pictures of kids I didn't even know!! The lady next to me was beginning to get a little nervous, I think! The moment came when they called "Zachary Counts" and he walked up to his teachers, got his certificate, stopped to pose for a picture and walked off the platform ~ off the platform to a new phase in his life...Kindergarten! Zachary went to preschool 2 days a week for only 2 1/2 hours...he will be going to Kindergarten ALL day and I'm not happy about this folks! It bothers me that I had a choice, with Dylan, whether or not I wanted him in all day or half day Kindergarten and I don't have that choice with Zachary.

This was a bittersweet day for Mama, but I am not going to spend the next few months dreading the fall but rather enjoying the time with my kids! I am going to choose to step over the laundry (not every time, of course) and play a game with the kids or throw water balloons or do something to make a memory! I am going to stop and take in the smiles and the laughter and the joy that those boys bring to my heart!