Today was Zachary's first day of Kindergarten and while he was excited and a little nervous, this mama's heart was breaking! The thing that I hate the most about this...is that I have many more moments like this in the years to come!
In the beginning of the summer I had posted that we weren't sure where Zachary would be attending school. We pretty much decided that if he didn't get into Montgomery, we were going to home school him because we didn't like our other options. The idea of keeping him home for school was rather appealing to me, but at the same time, I wanted what was best for him!! When we told him that he was going to be going to school with Dylan, his eyes filled up with tears and he was just beside himself! In that moment, the Lord made it very clear that this was His plan and I was thanking Him for working it all out! I hate waiting ~ when I have a plan, I want to get it into motion and this was totally out of my hands!! I don't know that I want to play this "game" again next year so we are asking that the Lord start working on it right now!!!
We got home from his open house last night and my heart was breaking. My Zachary was so excited to start school and spread his wings and I just wanted to curl up and cry ~ and that is just what I did!! I have been strong and been encouraging and made this new experience sound great, but I was falling apart!! My heart was aching for what was to come. He was up so early this morning and all ready to go to school by 7 ~ we ate breakfast, we took pictures and we had some down time for me to answer any questions that he might have...he was so brave! I gave him "kissing hands" (if you don't know what this is, it is in a book called The Kissing Hand), drew 2 little red hearts on his pointer fingers and we were off to school. When we pulled up, he decided that he didn't want to get out of the car, but Dylan so sweet and loving, helped him out of the car and I watched 2 pieces of my heart walk into that building and my heart hurt. I cried all the way home and then some! Peanut went with us in the car and I was to take care of him all day ~ what Zachary didn't know was that Peanut dried Mama's tears throughout the day!
I am excited for this new chapter in Zachary's life! I have been praying that the Lord will use his little life for good; that he will grow into a Godly, young man and honor our Father! I know that God has big plans for him and I am giving his life over...as much as it hurts my heart, I realize that he is only mine to borrow ~ Zachary belongs to Jesus! Those boys are my pride and joy and I am excited to see how they are both growing. Thank you, Jesus, for letting me have them for a time.
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