it's a dad's life

I had planned on blogging on Father's Day, but we had a busy day and I never got around to it! We enjoyed spending the day as a family...went to church, had lunch, loaded up the bikes in the car and went to the park and got POURED on and then we came home and watched Star Wars!! It was a great day! It does this Mama's heart good to see my boys with their Daddy! I love them all!!

And to my Dad, I love you and am thankful for the role that you played in my life growing up, but even more for the role that you play in my life now! I look up to you and respect you so very much and I couldn't be more blessed!! I love you and hope that you, too, had a great Father's Day!

This video is pretty funny, so enjoy:

i love creative punishments

I was looking for a new and creative way to "lay down the law" this summer and this is what we came up with! Now, I know that I may have some people who disagree with my methods because as I was doing some research the feelings were mixed. "Fun" and "Punishment" shouldn't be used in the same sentence and then there was the other side that thought it was a great way to make sure that rules were being followed. As a mom, I'm going to do what I think works for my family! I am guilty of telling my boys that if they do something again, they would be grounded, but then I forget that I told them that the LAST time and they get away with it AGAIN!! Anyone else guilty of that very thing?! I have decided that I'm tired of yelling at them for the same things! The "crimes" that were listed are the main things that we are having problems with and they are the things that the boys wanted to see the other punished for. I want to enforce the rules that our family has, but I don't want to constantly be yelling at them! I'm going to see how this works and I'll let you know in a few weeks!

how great is our god

3 1/2 years ago, I sat in a chair listening to "How Great is Our God" being sung and I couldn't help but question that very thing. I sat there looking at my brother's casket, wondering how a God that loves us so much, would allow such grief to come to our family...again.

I was an 11 year old, little girl when my daddy was murdered and taken from me. I remember when my daddy was killed and the loss that I felt. I remember being so sad. I remember the questions that were never answered. I remember being scared, scared of everything. Scared that if my mom ever left my side, she may not come back either. Scared of the dark. Scared of people. Just scared. But, I did have my mom and I leaned on her strength. She was strong. She held our family together. She reminded us that God still loved us and was going to take care of us.

And then, here we were again, sitting in the midst of grief, saying goodbye to my precious, little brother. My little brother who had his whole life ahead of him and now he was gone. When Aaron died, I began to question God and His love. I felt abandoned by Him and was angry with Him. I was mad at Him for putting my parents through a grief that no parent should ever have to face. I was mad at Aaron for giving up on life. I went for quite a few months just being mad and I gave up on God. We didn't talk for months and then I finally realized that God was bigger than me. He could take my temper tantrum. He could take me pounding my fists at Him. I layed it all out for Him and that was when the healing began.

I knew that I would see my sweet brother again and I slowly began feeling a peace that only He is capable of delivering! My heart was still aching for me and for my kids for my other siblings and especially for my parents, but I knew that I was feeling His arms, ever so gently, wrapping themselves around me. God never promised days without pain or laughter without sorrow, but He did promise strength for the day and comfort for the tears. I opened my heart back up to Him, asked for His forgiveness and I saw Him for who He truly is!

For a long time, I struggled even hearing that song because it reminded me that my brother was no longer here and it took me back to the day of his funeral. I didn't sing it because I was angry and questioning how "great" He really was. Now, I get choked up because I truly see His Majesty and I am overwhelmed at His love for me! I am humbled! Today at church, while the congregation was singing, I was remembering a picture. The day of Aaron's funeral, I remember looking over at my mom, tears in her eyes and hands raised towards heaven, singing those very words...the picture of strength. I saw God holding her up that day and even when I thought God was so far away, there He was, supporting and loving us all the whole time! By the grace of God, I sang a few lines from that song today and I felt His love just wash over me! Thank you, Father, for Your love and comfort and blessings each day!


"How Great Is Our God"

The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names
Worthy of our praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

valentine's day 2000

It is amazing what you come across when cleaning out the "junk" drawer! You know, that drawer that has a little bit of EVERYTHING in it and yet you can't find ANYTHING? Please tell me that you have a drawer like that?! Anyway, I had sent an email out recalling the chaos that was Valentine's Day...and this was BEFORE kids!! Enjoy...

February 14, 2000

I had to tell you about my V-day experience!! I figured I would make it a special night since I was going to be home all day! Last week I bought a chocolate cake and the stuff to make butter icing. I thought that would be nice!

Well, today I got up and cleaned the whole house...and I mean clean!! Mopped the kitchen floor, put down the vanilla scented floor stuff that you vacuum up and I sprayed the glade air freshener throughout the house. It smelled REALLY good when I walked in the house. How do I know? Let me tell you!

After I finished cleaning and got done getting my shower and getting dressed, I thought I would start the cake. No prob! I pulled out the box and see that I picked up a box of brownies! That's good and all, but I know Jason wanted a chocolate cake! Alright, I'm already dressed, I can run out and get a box of cake. I ran to Walmart and got this butter recipe cake...looked pretty good!

When I walked in the house, I smelled vanilla and a little bit of apple cinnamon glade spray! Mmmmmmm!! I begin to bake the cake. I've made dozens of cakes before so this was easy. To make it even more special, I got out the heart shaped cake pan that I used last year!

I stick the cake in the oven and let it cook. I came in and checked my email, folded some laundry and then all of a sudden I smell something burning! I run to the oven to see what is happening and the cake mix is RUNNING over the sides of the pan and is now black and burning on the bottom of my oven. I put on the oven fan and stand there for a little. The smoke is just POURING out of the oven. The next thing I know...the cake mix that spilled over the side of the oven is now in FLAMES!!! I don't mean little flames either! I grab the fire extinguisher, hesitating, because I don't want to mess up my cake! The next thing I know the smoke detector begins to go off ~ and why wouldn't it?! My house is FULL of smoke! I open the back door and the front door and set up the fan to blow the smoke AWAY from the detector! In the meantime, the flames had gone out and it looked like I was cooking on the grill with the hot charcoals at the bottom! The house continues to fill up with smoke...the smoke detector is STILL going off...the cake mix is STILL pouring over the pan and here is Sadie in her cage not having a clue what was going on (Sadie was our white lab).

Once I got things under control, or so I thought, I go to get Sadie out of her cage and she is just shaking! I reach in to get her and realize that she was sooo scared that she wet in her cage and the new bed we just got her!! I put her outside and I get the bed in the washer. No biggie! I bring her back in the smoke-filled house to try and settle her down. The timer goes off for the "cake", so I stick her back in her cage so I can get it out of the oven. I went and took some extra strength Tylenol and let the cake cool for 15 minutes before I get it out of the burnt cake mix covered pan! 15 minutes is up and I go to dump the cake out, but only 1/2 comes out! The other 1/2 is stuck in the greased, heart shaped cake pan! Whatever!! So, now I have to figure out how in the world I am going to ice this cake! The crusty part that is usually on the cake is still in the pan! I have this dilapidated, crumbly looking heart (I think!) shaped cake sitting on a plate! How 'bout those brownies?! And I am going to try and cook something new for dinner?! "Jason, how does Dominoes and brownies sound?"

Needless to say...my house smells like a big BBQ pit, Sadie hasn't MOVED all afternoon, my ears are ringing and Jason will be home in 2 hours!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!



I told this story to the boys a long time ago and since then, they are always wanting me to tell them about the day my cake caught on fire!! By the way, I ended up throwing my heart shaped cake pan away...it wasn't worth it!!

I hope you enjoyed my version of a Valentine's Day from long ago!!

This is Sadie!

my "tween"

Tween ~ that word used to be a thing of the past, my past! That awkward, growing up time when things that I could get away with as a kid, were no longer acceptable and things that used to be funny, were now no longer funny. That awkward time when I knew I wasn't a "kid", but I wasn't a teenager or an adult either. Where did I fit in?

That past is now a thing of my present. Not my present, but my Dylan's. This was a year of change for Dylan and it was hard, as a Mama, seeing him struggle to find his place. School was different, his friendships changed and his relationships at home were changing. I saw him struggle with kids that used to be his friends, now being mean to him. I saw his interests change. Now, that doesn't seem like a big deal, but Dylan is like his Daddy when it comes to technology and computers and there aren't too many kids his age interested in those things. Explain to a 4th grader that not everyone is going to like him and that he isn't going to please everyone. That's a tough one, especially since my Dylan is a people-pleaser and likes to have the admiration that comes from making people happy. He is not that different from the rest of us...if we were all honest with ourselves, we would admit how much we like a pat on the back from a friend or a co-worker! We have been stressing to him how we need to forget about the praise of men and seek the applause of our Heavenly Father! That's a hard one, even as adults! Another verse that we have really been concentrating on this year was Psalm 139:14 and I love this version (International Children's Bible): "I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well." I love that!! Who doesn't want to hear that they are special and amazing and wonderful? God says that is how He made us! It's not easy being made fun of or being teased or feeling like you don't fit in...it's hard growing up, let's face it! I'm thankful that I can encourage my "tween" with promises from God about how special he is! Jeremiah 29:11 promises my Dylan that He has great plans for him. Plans to prosper and not harm. Plans to give him hope and a future! I have an amazing kid and I can't believe how lucky I am to have the chance to teach him. It is alot of responsibility knowing that it's my job (Jason's too!) to train him up in the way that he should go! The Bible tells me that if I do this, that when he is grown he will not turn from that. I'm praying that I do the best that I can as his Mama and then I'm leaving it in God's hands to do the rest! Being a parent is hard work!

The fact that Dylan is a "tween" really hit me in the face the other day when we went to the library to sign up for the summer reading program and he decided to sign up for the tween/teen program! Zachary was all signed up and ready to go! He has to read, or have read to him, 15 books and then when he fills up his sheet he gets to pick a prize that, most likely, will end up in the trash in a week, but it's his prize nonetheless! Dylan would have had to read 4 hours to fill his sheet and then he would be able to pick from the same prizes that Zachary was picking from! Instead, he decided to go for the 5 hours and his name in a drawing for a cool weekly prize (he has his eye on a $10 iTunes card!). After the library, he was given his first "job"!! He has been wanting to volunteer for a few years, but the requirement is 13 years old to be considered "crew", so he is unofficially volunteering each Wednesday helping with crafts! He was so excited that he came home and started working on his name tag to print and wear on the days that he helps out! He thinks he is hot stuff!

It does my heart good when I see him thriving and happy! As hard as the year was for him, he has come out on top and he is going to be fine. He is a great kid and God is going to use him in a BIG way! I love my firstborn!

disappointment

I think that I somehow lost the month of May! Has that ever happened to you? I look on my calendar and I see that it was there, I see that I marked off each day but I just don't remember it! I guess I was just so excited for June and the school year coming to an end...and now it has!

Yesterday was the last day of school and how excited we were...I know I was! I should have known when the kids got up and were grumpy as all get out that something was going to happen and that it might not be good! I had it all planned: I would pick the kids up from school with "School's Out for Summer" all q'd up and ready to play, we'd come home and hang out for a bit, have pizza for dinner while watching the first America's Got Talent of the season and then we were going to meet up with friends for ice cream! It all SOUNDED so good! Picked the kids up and so far, so good. We get home and everything just fell apart! The grumpiness from the morning just continued...we had attitude, we had fighting, we had tears, we had it all and this was NOT what I had signed up for! Needless to say, my dear husband's famous saying, "Disappointment is caused by unmet expectations" came true. I had expected the day to be wonderful and filled with excitement and we were all going to get along and we were gonna have fun and it was gonna be great! I expected too much, therefore, I was a little disappointed! We are gonna start over! We are gonna have to figure out how the boys are going to get along this summer, which may be difficult since we just put them in the same room (what was I thinking?!).

Anyway, it is a new day and it is the start of summer. I am most looking forward to the carefree days and evenings. The thing I love the most is not having to put dinner on the table at exactly 5 since Zachary has to go to bed at 7! I love the idea of not packing lunches everyday! I love sleeping in...even till 7! I love staying up late reading or watching movies. I love not having a schedule, for the most part! THAT is why I love the summer...I can do without the heat!! Give me 70 degree temps all summer and I'd be great!!

We have a 1st grader and a 5th grader!

my GOD shall supply all our needs

I have been frustrated with this blog because I forget how I got it set up and now I can't change anything!! In fact, it had been so long since my last entry that they even removed some of my cool stuff I had! Writing doesn't come easily to me so it isn't a quick entry when I sit at the computer to blog! I have to put so much thought into making it all sound good...making it all sound proper...making it all enjoyable! Today, I'm still trying to figure out how to make the changes to my blog, the words still don't come naturally, but I'm putting all that on the back burner for now and I'm going to just share my heart!

For some reason, today was emotional for me. So much transpired this weekend and I sat today thinking about my God! Let me start at the beginning: As most of you know, our van broke down on Friday on the way home from a Dr's appointment in Akron with Zachary. To make a looonnnnggg story short, we have been dealing with "tummy" problems for about 5 years now. Last April we went to a Gastroenterologist and things had seemed to be going pretty good until January and February. We ran into a few "snags" and felt that we needed to get a second opinion for our little guy. We took him in March and the Dr ordered some blood work: blood work for allergies to milk, soy, wheat, celiacs disease, chrones disease and more. We had the blood work done and when we went last Friday for the results, everything was GREAT! No allergies, no scary diseases, just good news...you would think! We got good news and yet we still have a problem with no clear answers. We may be a step closer to our answer: strep! Yes, strep! We have to have him tested when he is healthy, but the Dr believes that Zachary may be a strep carrier and that is causing all of his problems! A simple strep test during one of his episodes, will give us our answer...if it is positive, then a dose of antibiotics till the infection is out of his system and we are good to go! Something that seems simple and yet took many doctors 5 years to figure this out and help us!! So much of our trust and faith is put in doctors and yet our thinking is so off! Our faith and trust needs to be placed in the Heavenly Father who created us and knows us! He knew what was "wrong" with Zachary even when no doctor did. I am so guilty of worrying about things that I can't control! Why do we do this? Why do we worry when there is nothing we can do to change the outcome of a situation? Because we are human! We had a message at church just a few weeks back and it was about worrying!! Man, how God made my heart sting during this message! He was really stepping on my toes and making me think about some things!

Ok, so back to this weekend! The van breaks down an hour from home (I am so thankful that Jason was with me because I get stressed when I have car trouble...and man, have we had our share of it with the van)! Anyway, we get a stinky, dirty tow truck to get us back to Ashland and we wait! We got a call on Monday morning that the engine was shot and it would cost us a ridiculous amount to fix it and all the other things that were wrong with it! Isn't that usually how these things go?! Being the "worry-er" that I am, I go into panic mode...what are we gonna do without a second car? No more trips to the East Coast to visit family, no having lunch with the kiddos at school, no just getting out of the house...and the list went on! I went into the second mode when I'm stressed ~ CLEANING!! Praying the whole time that God would supply our needs, but not totally believing He would! How many times has He provided for us in the past? How many times has He worked things out? How many times has He proven Himself to me? Oh so many times and yet I still doubted...just call me "Thomas"! I won't go into all the details, but I will say this, God provided in a big way...just like He always does! Trust Him! Cast your cares on HIM because He cares for you! God will supply all of our needs...and He did it again! Thank you, Father, for your faithfulness!

has it really been 5 months?

I can't even believe how long it has been since I've posted. So long that some of the cool little things I had decorating my blog are gone and I didn't even know it! I was looking at my kids notebooks that I write letters to them in and it has been 2 years since the last entry...I'm ashamed. I put off all I had to do today to write a long, overdue letter to my sweet boys. They are about to get off the bus, but my promise is that in the next few days, I will sit and blog. I'm afraid that when I sit and start, I might not get up for awhile!! Until then........