so much has changed

It has literally been years since I have blogged and so much has changed! My boys are big...like really big! I have a 16, almost 17 year old! How can that even be? He is driving! He is working! He is a Jr! My other boy is officially a teenager! He likes to golf! He loves Minecraft! He is in Jr. High! I don't know how they have aged but I haven't!! It's a wonder, really! We had a lot of fun adventures this past year. We started the year off by going to Washington DC for the inauguration of Donald J. Trump. We put in for tickets not expecting to get them, but it was definitely an experience that I never thought I wanted to have! It was so packed that we literally stood with no room between us for hours and hours! It was such a great experience, though, I think I would do it again if the opportunity presents itself. I have always been patriotic. I have so many family members that have been or are currently serving in the military, how can I not be? I love my country. I believe that we are blessed to be living in America and too stand in DC, with famous landmarks all around us, and watch the current president being sworn in, was just amazing. We also visited New York City. It was just a little day trip, but so much fun! We took the kids in 2016 and did all of the touristy stuff...the Statue of Liberty, Rockefeller Plaza and the Today show, World Trade Towers memorial and the Freedom Tower and of course Times Square. This time we just went and walked around, saw the sights and took city life in. I realize every time I'm in the city, that I am a country girl! I enjoy taking a day or two to live the city life, but my heart belongs more in the country! I like living an hour away from the city and being able to go whenever we want, but still living where it's quiet! Jason and I have gotten to spend some quality time together with no kids. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary by going to Vegas. I have never been that far away from our boys, but man it was a good time. We stayed in the Trump Hotel, which was cool since we were at his inauguration, and then we walked the strip, visited the casinos and took each other and Vegas in! Then we were able to visit Boston just a couple weeks ago. We visited the JFK presidential library, the New England aquarium and we walked the Freedom Trail. Boston was a beautiful city. The buildings were so gorgeous...so much history in that city. And if those trips weren't enough time together, Jason has been unemployed for the last 2 months, so he has been home with me almost every day and I have loved every minute of it! I guess technically he has still been employed by Walmart (until today), but he just didn't have to show up to work! Who wouldn't want THAT job?! Ha! He is still exploring his employment options at this point, but God has worked in every detail of this phase of our lives and we continue to trust that He will open all the right doors.

I think that's all I'm gonna write about for now! I'm gonna vow to try and keep up with this a little better than I have in the past! But until next time.....

take the time to be silly

Yesterday was that day! Yesterday was the day that I stopped and let all the other responsibilities and cares of the day just vanish. Before my boys headed off to school, I declared that last night was going to be silly hat night! We had never done anything like this before so the question out of their mouth was, "Are you serious?". Totally!! They had to come up with an idea, create their silly hat, while keeping it as much a secret as possible, and then wear it to dinner. When they realized that we were really doing this, the look on their faces was absolutely priceless!! While they were at school I ran all of my errands early so I could get home and work on my hat...see, it wasn't just the boys that had to creat a hat!! The whole time I was working on my silly hat, I was smiling. Smiling because I was remembering their reaction to the declaration, smiling because I was thinking about them making their hats, smiling because it was fun and smiling because I couldn't wait for my 2 joys to get home! All I could think about was spending this time being silly with them! All I wanted them to know last night, was that they are important to me. That being with them is fun and that this is home...a place of security, encouragement, laughter, fun and love! This is our home! As I worked with each of them on their hats, I looked at them with a new, found love. My boys are growing up right in front of my eyes and yesterday, I stopped. I looked. I admired. I listened. I watched in pure admiration of the young men my babies are becoming. I watched with tears as those boys sat in front of me creating something, so silly, and yet so important to them. I watched as they put their minds to work creating something that was unique to each of them...it was their own! When all the hats were completed, they were placed in their hiding places with gentle care until the big unveiling! It was FINALLY time for dinner and time to place our creations on our heads! The pure joy and excitement over this last minute declaration of silly hat night was something that I don't want to forget! We all went and got on our hats and came to the table...oh, I wish I could have captured that moment of pure happiness. That moment of not having a care in the world. That moment of my boys having fun and being silly! We enjoyed our night. We enjoyed watching each other try and keep our hats on our heads while we ate. We enjoyed watching all the glitter from Mama's hat fall in her food. We enjoyed being together and being silly!! Last night, the boys voted that this was to be a once a month activity. I know that this won't last forever, but I am going to cherish it forever!! Take time to be silly with your kids. Take time to make memories. Look at your kids like you have never looked at them before. Enjoy your kids...they won't be little forever.

Boys, I can't express enough how much I love you. I know that I am not perfect and that I mess up. I know that there are times when I nag or yell or complain. I know that there is always room for improvement! But what I want YOU to know, is that my love for the 2 of you is forever! You bring me so much joy! I'm so thankful that you are the precious gifts that God gave to me and your Daddy! I love you both so very much!

it's a dad's life

I had planned on blogging on Father's Day, but we had a busy day and I never got around to it! We enjoyed spending the day as a family...went to church, had lunch, loaded up the bikes in the car and went to the park and got POURED on and then we came home and watched Star Wars!! It was a great day! It does this Mama's heart good to see my boys with their Daddy! I love them all!!

And to my Dad, I love you and am thankful for the role that you played in my life growing up, but even more for the role that you play in my life now! I look up to you and respect you so very much and I couldn't be more blessed!! I love you and hope that you, too, had a great Father's Day!

This video is pretty funny, so enjoy:

i love creative punishments

I was looking for a new and creative way to "lay down the law" this summer and this is what we came up with! Now, I know that I may have some people who disagree with my methods because as I was doing some research the feelings were mixed. "Fun" and "Punishment" shouldn't be used in the same sentence and then there was the other side that thought it was a great way to make sure that rules were being followed. As a mom, I'm going to do what I think works for my family! I am guilty of telling my boys that if they do something again, they would be grounded, but then I forget that I told them that the LAST time and they get away with it AGAIN!! Anyone else guilty of that very thing?! I have decided that I'm tired of yelling at them for the same things! The "crimes" that were listed are the main things that we are having problems with and they are the things that the boys wanted to see the other punished for. I want to enforce the rules that our family has, but I don't want to constantly be yelling at them! I'm going to see how this works and I'll let you know in a few weeks!

how great is our god

3 1/2 years ago, I sat in a chair listening to "How Great is Our God" being sung and I couldn't help but question that very thing. I sat there looking at my brother's casket, wondering how a God that loves us so much, would allow such grief to come to our family...again.

I was an 11 year old, little girl when my daddy was murdered and taken from me. I remember when my daddy was killed and the loss that I felt. I remember being so sad. I remember the questions that were never answered. I remember being scared, scared of everything. Scared that if my mom ever left my side, she may not come back either. Scared of the dark. Scared of people. Just scared. But, I did have my mom and I leaned on her strength. She was strong. She held our family together. She reminded us that God still loved us and was going to take care of us.

And then, here we were again, sitting in the midst of grief, saying goodbye to my precious, little brother. My little brother who had his whole life ahead of him and now he was gone. When Aaron died, I began to question God and His love. I felt abandoned by Him and was angry with Him. I was mad at Him for putting my parents through a grief that no parent should ever have to face. I was mad at Aaron for giving up on life. I went for quite a few months just being mad and I gave up on God. We didn't talk for months and then I finally realized that God was bigger than me. He could take my temper tantrum. He could take me pounding my fists at Him. I layed it all out for Him and that was when the healing began.

I knew that I would see my sweet brother again and I slowly began feeling a peace that only He is capable of delivering! My heart was still aching for me and for my kids for my other siblings and especially for my parents, but I knew that I was feeling His arms, ever so gently, wrapping themselves around me. God never promised days without pain or laughter without sorrow, but He did promise strength for the day and comfort for the tears. I opened my heart back up to Him, asked for His forgiveness and I saw Him for who He truly is!

For a long time, I struggled even hearing that song because it reminded me that my brother was no longer here and it took me back to the day of his funeral. I didn't sing it because I was angry and questioning how "great" He really was. Now, I get choked up because I truly see His Majesty and I am overwhelmed at His love for me! I am humbled! Today at church, while the congregation was singing, I was remembering a picture. The day of Aaron's funeral, I remember looking over at my mom, tears in her eyes and hands raised towards heaven, singing those very words...the picture of strength. I saw God holding her up that day and even when I thought God was so far away, there He was, supporting and loving us all the whole time! By the grace of God, I sang a few lines from that song today and I felt His love just wash over me! Thank you, Father, for Your love and comfort and blessings each day!


"How Great Is Our God"

The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names
Worthy of our praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

valentine's day 2000

It is amazing what you come across when cleaning out the "junk" drawer! You know, that drawer that has a little bit of EVERYTHING in it and yet you can't find ANYTHING? Please tell me that you have a drawer like that?! Anyway, I had sent an email out recalling the chaos that was Valentine's Day...and this was BEFORE kids!! Enjoy...

February 14, 2000

I had to tell you about my V-day experience!! I figured I would make it a special night since I was going to be home all day! Last week I bought a chocolate cake and the stuff to make butter icing. I thought that would be nice!

Well, today I got up and cleaned the whole house...and I mean clean!! Mopped the kitchen floor, put down the vanilla scented floor stuff that you vacuum up and I sprayed the glade air freshener throughout the house. It smelled REALLY good when I walked in the house. How do I know? Let me tell you!

After I finished cleaning and got done getting my shower and getting dressed, I thought I would start the cake. No prob! I pulled out the box and see that I picked up a box of brownies! That's good and all, but I know Jason wanted a chocolate cake! Alright, I'm already dressed, I can run out and get a box of cake. I ran to Walmart and got this butter recipe cake...looked pretty good!

When I walked in the house, I smelled vanilla and a little bit of apple cinnamon glade spray! Mmmmmmm!! I begin to bake the cake. I've made dozens of cakes before so this was easy. To make it even more special, I got out the heart shaped cake pan that I used last year!

I stick the cake in the oven and let it cook. I came in and checked my email, folded some laundry and then all of a sudden I smell something burning! I run to the oven to see what is happening and the cake mix is RUNNING over the sides of the pan and is now black and burning on the bottom of my oven. I put on the oven fan and stand there for a little. The smoke is just POURING out of the oven. The next thing I know...the cake mix that spilled over the side of the oven is now in FLAMES!!! I don't mean little flames either! I grab the fire extinguisher, hesitating, because I don't want to mess up my cake! The next thing I know the smoke detector begins to go off ~ and why wouldn't it?! My house is FULL of smoke! I open the back door and the front door and set up the fan to blow the smoke AWAY from the detector! In the meantime, the flames had gone out and it looked like I was cooking on the grill with the hot charcoals at the bottom! The house continues to fill up with smoke...the smoke detector is STILL going off...the cake mix is STILL pouring over the pan and here is Sadie in her cage not having a clue what was going on (Sadie was our white lab).

Once I got things under control, or so I thought, I go to get Sadie out of her cage and she is just shaking! I reach in to get her and realize that she was sooo scared that she wet in her cage and the new bed we just got her!! I put her outside and I get the bed in the washer. No biggie! I bring her back in the smoke-filled house to try and settle her down. The timer goes off for the "cake", so I stick her back in her cage so I can get it out of the oven. I went and took some extra strength Tylenol and let the cake cool for 15 minutes before I get it out of the burnt cake mix covered pan! 15 minutes is up and I go to dump the cake out, but only 1/2 comes out! The other 1/2 is stuck in the greased, heart shaped cake pan! Whatever!! So, now I have to figure out how in the world I am going to ice this cake! The crusty part that is usually on the cake is still in the pan! I have this dilapidated, crumbly looking heart (I think!) shaped cake sitting on a plate! How 'bout those brownies?! And I am going to try and cook something new for dinner?! "Jason, how does Dominoes and brownies sound?"

Needless to say...my house smells like a big BBQ pit, Sadie hasn't MOVED all afternoon, my ears are ringing and Jason will be home in 2 hours!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!



I told this story to the boys a long time ago and since then, they are always wanting me to tell them about the day my cake caught on fire!! By the way, I ended up throwing my heart shaped cake pan away...it wasn't worth it!!

I hope you enjoyed my version of a Valentine's Day from long ago!!

This is Sadie!

my "tween"

Tween ~ that word used to be a thing of the past, my past! That awkward, growing up time when things that I could get away with as a kid, were no longer acceptable and things that used to be funny, were now no longer funny. That awkward time when I knew I wasn't a "kid", but I wasn't a teenager or an adult either. Where did I fit in?

That past is now a thing of my present. Not my present, but my Dylan's. This was a year of change for Dylan and it was hard, as a Mama, seeing him struggle to find his place. School was different, his friendships changed and his relationships at home were changing. I saw him struggle with kids that used to be his friends, now being mean to him. I saw his interests change. Now, that doesn't seem like a big deal, but Dylan is like his Daddy when it comes to technology and computers and there aren't too many kids his age interested in those things. Explain to a 4th grader that not everyone is going to like him and that he isn't going to please everyone. That's a tough one, especially since my Dylan is a people-pleaser and likes to have the admiration that comes from making people happy. He is not that different from the rest of us...if we were all honest with ourselves, we would admit how much we like a pat on the back from a friend or a co-worker! We have been stressing to him how we need to forget about the praise of men and seek the applause of our Heavenly Father! That's a hard one, even as adults! Another verse that we have really been concentrating on this year was Psalm 139:14 and I love this version (International Children's Bible): "I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well." I love that!! Who doesn't want to hear that they are special and amazing and wonderful? God says that is how He made us! It's not easy being made fun of or being teased or feeling like you don't fit in...it's hard growing up, let's face it! I'm thankful that I can encourage my "tween" with promises from God about how special he is! Jeremiah 29:11 promises my Dylan that He has great plans for him. Plans to prosper and not harm. Plans to give him hope and a future! I have an amazing kid and I can't believe how lucky I am to have the chance to teach him. It is alot of responsibility knowing that it's my job (Jason's too!) to train him up in the way that he should go! The Bible tells me that if I do this, that when he is grown he will not turn from that. I'm praying that I do the best that I can as his Mama and then I'm leaving it in God's hands to do the rest! Being a parent is hard work!

The fact that Dylan is a "tween" really hit me in the face the other day when we went to the library to sign up for the summer reading program and he decided to sign up for the tween/teen program! Zachary was all signed up and ready to go! He has to read, or have read to him, 15 books and then when he fills up his sheet he gets to pick a prize that, most likely, will end up in the trash in a week, but it's his prize nonetheless! Dylan would have had to read 4 hours to fill his sheet and then he would be able to pick from the same prizes that Zachary was picking from! Instead, he decided to go for the 5 hours and his name in a drawing for a cool weekly prize (he has his eye on a $10 iTunes card!). After the library, he was given his first "job"!! He has been wanting to volunteer for a few years, but the requirement is 13 years old to be considered "crew", so he is unofficially volunteering each Wednesday helping with crafts! He was so excited that he came home and started working on his name tag to print and wear on the days that he helps out! He thinks he is hot stuff!

It does my heart good when I see him thriving and happy! As hard as the year was for him, he has come out on top and he is going to be fine. He is a great kid and God is going to use him in a BIG way! I love my firstborn!